waywardwalk

help

2011-10-10T16:25:00.001-07:00

i need help getting the electronics i have in a digitally viewable format
on ebay and craigslist
for sale and for donation

i need to learn html and css
and work with someone on it

transmissions

2011-01-29T13:02:00.000-08:00

i've got this feeling that i'm reaching beyond my means of accomplish. i have wonderful intelligent friends that concern themselves at work with nothing more than the temperature of water splashing on dried leaves and seeds, while i try to understand and execute the transmission of the food of all of our earth-bound machines and illumination. on top of that i've decided i need to learn how to drive stick. I cant even hold a drum beat consistent. its the calm that i seek, impervious to others jars and even encouragements. what a solitary lonely hill one climbs in order to Know.

--

a living photoshoot

2010-05-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

what if we found an abandoned building in the woods
what if we camped there
what if we had a soundsystem
what if we had a tea party
what if we had a workshop
what if everyone dressed in steampunk gear
what if photographers and videographers continually shot
what if we cross sliced images and sound from the party
and what if all this was not orchestrated but what naturally bubbled

a living photoshoot

skill intention

2010-05-27T02:58:00.000-07:00

may each day bring opportunities to introduce more friends
and associate more endeavors to willing parties
don't hesitate to introduce new concepts to those who may seem
unsympathetic
may my life become simpler as i expand
as i understand how more things work i shall have less of them in my possession
what remains is intention and skill
opportunity and potential
transformed
to help and reformation

thank you for my bicycle and for my computer. may i learn to keep them happy.

Electronics 101

2009-11-08T14:52:00.001-08:00

Bi polar transistor schematic

Finding hard to find documentaries

2009-09-02T10:12:00.001-07:00

Taken from: http://www.documentarysite.com/resources/howtofind.html

How to Find Documentaries

Finding documentary films takes a little more effort than dropping by your favorite video store and renting it for the night because most rental places stock a minumum of nonfiction films, new or old. Here are a few places to help you in your search.

A note on prices: Documentary films range in price from several dollars used to several hundred dollars for rent. Titles released through popular distributors such as MGM or Sony Pictures Classics tend to be priced about the same as feature films ($20-$40), but those found through educational sources such as Women Make Movies and others will run higher. The latter often reinvest the money earned from title sales and rentals into developing more titles, so a purchase not only helps them but also helps support the industry.

Search Amazon.com
Amazon.com offers a couple advantages when looking for documentary films and films of any kind for that matter. The company owns The Internet Movie Database, the largest collection of information about film and television. Conducting a search through IMDb will result in a series of matches, and a record match includes a box at the upper right with the title's availability (DVD, VHS) at Amazon.com. Conducting a search in Amazon will result in a list of both new and used copies available.

Search eBay
eBay, the largest online auction, offers another marketplace for which to look for documentaries. Private sellers offer titles for bid and for immediate purchase should the thrill of bidding not appeal to you. You can search the documentary category by DVD and VHS. If the searches turn up nothing, try a general site search -- documentaries sometimes end up in other categories. eBay also owns half.com, which sells documentaries as well.

Saw it on PBS?
Then search the PBS Shop. The service often releases its documentaries on DVD and VHS after their broadcast.

Still Can't Find It?
Try these sites:

Facets: Based in Chicago, Facets offers a wide variety of new and hard-to-find films for purchase or rent.
BuyIndies.com: Features more eclectic documentary titles and other independent films

For More Hard-to-Find and Specialty Titles
Try these three sites:

California Newsreel: The oldest distributor of "social-interest documentaries"
Docuseek includes a search "for independent documentary, social issue and and educational videos."
Women Make Movies features a catalog of more than 500 titles by and about women.

If the Film is by Frederick Wiseman
Go to Zipporah Films Inc. Wiseman retains distribution rights on all his films. You can rent or purchase them through this site.

Something to Try
If you live near a college or university, check out the library's media collection. Sometimes, these institutions will keep a collection of films and videos available for teachers' and professors' use. Some libraries will allow the public to check them out, or they may request you watch the title on site. ***local note: Sarah Lawrence college in bronxville has a fantastic selection. You can become a member of the library for 40 dollars a year .

One More Thing
If you are a Netflix subscriber, you have access to more than 4,000 documentarieson DVD. The site also ranks its top 25 documentary rentals.

Sent from my iPhone

The tao of the job

2009-08-01T11:19:00.001-07:00

Could it possibly be that the way you weren't actually were was how you
described yourself (shitty idea) such as you claim to not give a fuck
but meanwhile you are perceived as a cosciousnes worker and if you try
too hard you are perceived as clumsy and the like
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

spiritual calendar

2009-07-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

for the ongoing practice of mental sanity, ancestral honoring, and shuttingthefuckup we will assemble here a calendar of places where one might look at any given moment of breakdown, to find a spiritual practice in the area to surrender to

kagyu thubten choling (tibetan buddhist monestary in wappingers falls NY
empty hand zendo (zen temple in new rochelle NY)
shaolin overseas temple headquarters chapter (ven. shi guolin scarsdale NY)
amy secada yoga (st marks church NYC)
yogaworks (irvington NY)
ananda b yoga (discipline of mahayogi 6th/B NYC)
chuang yen monestary (chinese buddhist monestary carmel NY)

Dopamine

2009-06-10T05:29:00.001-07:00

Searching puddles for ripple 'fects

wishing body versatile
Capable of consuming social quantities
With no lasting I'll effects
Smiles come round
Reach out
And attach resignation
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

visions of green

2009-03-01T11:14:00.000-08:00

I miss california
and oregon
and ferns wavering in the breeze
douglas firs whispering things way over my head
bearded boys with shiny eyes singing songs around the fire
such beautiful girls that rags and dirt could not even hide

i miss the smell in the air
the hope in the midst
the pace of the race

aspirations

2009-01-30T14:26:00.000-08:00

I'd really like to be an excellent electrician. I just really don't like being at work everyday. Really anyday. im conflicted because if i want to do something, why should it be so painstaking? i aspire to make my body flexible. to be able to trouble shoot electrical and mechanical systems. to be able to associate personalities and efforts on a regional level to create more creation.

if you see me eating cake, encourage me to eat something healthy in the stead. (though hypoglycemia may be the reason i crave such treats.)

want to go to a yoga class? perhaps for a mountain climb? fix bikes?

Just found out a westchester poet read at obama's inauguration. shes part of the hudson valley writers center in sleepy hollow. they have an open mic there monthly.

get kicking tips

2009-01-12T14:47:00.001-08:00

How To Fix That Thing, or Free Life Hack

I've been meaning to post this for awhile. A couple months back I wrote in my regular blog about going back to the Three Things Plan when my seasonal depression started kicking in, and a bunch of people asked me what I meant. I didn't get around to explaining it then, but I thought that since New Year's is typically a time when people commit to changing things, now would be the perfect time.

So you are thinking about changing That Thing. Maybe you want more of That Thing. Maybe you want less. Maybe you just need That Thing to be different. That's cool, you can so do this. In fact, I guarantee that That Thing can be changed within three months, and I'm reasonably confident that you can significantly change That Thing in one month.

I don't really care if That Thing is a mountain. Or That Thing has been a problem for a very long time. Mountains and hills and flat roads are all conquered the exact same way- one foot in front of the other, over and over and over.

You might not believe me. That Thing may seem really bad, or perhaps too complicated to be possibly changed in one month, or even three months. Stop listening to that voice. It is lying.

I know from what I speak. I've had depression for 20 years. I've probably had more depression than you. I've had obsessive-compulsive disorder for 24 years. My depression generally limits itself to the winter. And it's easy to battle now- 150 mg of desipramine a day from Halloween to St. Patrick's Day or so. One little move, and everything is set back to rights. But it took, and I'm not even kidding here, 13 years to figure that out. So for 13 years, I spent over half the year, every year, sleeping for 10-15 hours a day, unmotivated, sad, ignoring relationships, and generally fucking shit up. Depression was the master of derailing a perfectly good life. So I had to learn to be the master of putting pieces back together. Trust me when I say I had to go through a lot of possible solutions in that time. Hundreds, easily. Desipramine works well for depression, for me. If I am unable to get desipramine, and for everything else, all my other Things, the Three Things Plan works. Every.single.time.

It's not easy. It's not stupid hard. Sometimes, it's uncomfortable. That's alright, being uncomfortable ain't killed anyone yet. So sometimes it'll feel really, really uncomfortable, and then you'll hang around awhile and get a new emotion. Eventually, even very uncomfortable things stop being uncomfortable and start being boring. Since the only way out is through, I suggest just accepting that sometimes you'll feel uncomfortable, and that being uncomfortable only means that you are growing. If you recognize that being uncomfortable means you are growing, you are now in new territory, one little bit closer to conquering That Thing, then you'll find being uncomfortable actually isn't so bad.

Enough preamble.

Want to change That Thing? Do this:
Every day, do three things to change that thing.

That's it. They do not have to be large things. In fact, it's usually better if in general you *don't* do large things. Large things make you tired. Large things are more likely to fail, which can be discouraging. Large things cannot be done every day for a long time, or even a month, without consuming your life. Slow your roll. Three small things, each and every day, is enough.

At the end of a month, you will have made 90 changes. After 90 changes, That Thing may not be totally different, but it is impossible for you to be in the same place.

At the end of three months, assuming the problem takes that long to solve, you will have done 270 changes. Think about that for a moment. If you take the time to try 270 different solutions to a problem, or take 270 steps towards a goal, there is absolutely no way it cannot be totally changed.

There are some pitfalls. You cannot do 90 iterations of the same thing, this likely won't work. Try new things. Be uncomfortable. You have to get right with having things not work out, too. A lot of the 90 probably will only change things a little bit, some won't do a thing. Ignore this. I promise that even with only 45 things being tiny baby steps, and the other 45 being absolute duds, things will still be amazingly different by the end of the month. Commit to one week, then one month, then another. Start small.

Here are some examples:

You want to Quit Smoking
- Day 1: Read about different methods of quitting smoking, make a list of all the reasons you have to quit, figure out how much you spend on smoking a month and put this number on a Post-it on your credit card, just as a reminder.
- Day 2: Make a decision about which method you want to use, consider when might be a good time to try, notice what times of day you tend to smoke (being aware of patterns helps you change them)
- Day 3: Call doctor if your method requires prescription, notice what triggers the urge to smoke and make a list, practice postponing one cigarette for 5 minutes longer than you ordinarily would
- Day 4: Pick a day to quit, practice postponing 2 cigarettes for 5 minutes each, write a list of ways things would be different without smoking.

Get the idea? This isn't hard. What's hard is getting around the idea that That Thing is too big to be dealt with. What's hard is slowing your roll and doing little things instead of making big changes. Impatience is the downfall of many attempts to change That Thing. Better to make it gone than try and change quickly. What's hard is consistently doing three things every day. Life always gets complicated, and change can be a real pain in the ass. Don't let yourself slide. Keep a blog or journal or list of the three things you have done each day. This can really help you see how far you've come later on.
Ok, so that's it. That's how you change That Thing. Consistent small changes over time equals eventual win. The tricky part is staying involved and consistently doing three things every day. But if you can do that, then everything else will resolve itself. Once you get the snowball rolling, the avalanche makes itself. Kick a lot of snowballs down the hill, watch the mountain.

Anais nin

2009-01-03T08:53:00.001-08:00

Deep down I feel an unerstanding of those who revolt against the slavery
of work, but I have also seen those who revolt against the slavery of
work, but I have also seen those who rebelled against the system harm
themselves beyond repair.

I watch gonzalo taking pride in his work. The guilt which often
accompanies those who do not work, who do not create anything, can be
more terrible and destructive than the disciplin and sacrifice of work
and creation.
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

the joker

2008-12-28T22:02:00.001-08:00

This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain
Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!
I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are

Teslas prayer

2008-11-24T16:29:00.001-08:00

The glow retreats, done is the day of toil
It yonder hastens, new fields of life exploring
Ah that no wing can lift me from the soil
Upon it's track to follow, follow soaring!

-nikola teslas prayer for grounding, from faust
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

benzin

2008-11-17T15:17:00.001-08:00

Im confused.... i got two mercedes turbo diesels and both of them are falling apart. I want to do the right thing by the environment and my pocket. i now have the opportunity to buy a v8 chevy silverado which goes against my environmental considerations EXCEPT for the fact that i could really start picking things up from the free craigslist section as well as move my friends around and put a couch in the back of it to enjoy the sunsets. and supposedly the car is worth 7000 but the guy is selling it for 3500 so i could use it this winter and then sell it in the spring. or... ive put all my savings into a gas guzzler i cant get rid of....

but what about getting a mini school bus? im so worried about what needs to be done to make it "ready" for use. and if something breaks or needs service? i dont even think my mechanic's door could fit it in! but you all know youd love if Reddy Locks showed up at your house and extended the school bus door open in your direction.. you step up and find a circular marble table with grooves cut in for tea cups... log stools nailed into the floor and a red glow light array?

or i could fix up these two benzitos.... but ive been holding onto that dream for like 2 years now... an old friend of mine who's been living in canada for the past year talked to me a few months ago and after lamenting about my car.... she sighed and responded
"i see nothing's changed" scary thought to be holding onto an idea for that long without real results. keep it moving kna ut i mean? hold onto to nothing embrace everything eh?

listen right now right now ive got to kick out the jams mother fuckers

--
<^> matt cleary
914.316.4708
AIM: howufeelaboutpie
http://people.tribe.net/veilofavoca

A note for you morning pages

2008-11-03T11:49:00.001-08:00

Morning pages

She said she's green all over and mindful of how the wind blows in our
lunges and into our hearts smiles feel like they double adjacently until
it's a bubbly wall stone splash green trees and forgotten landscaper
designer who create interiors on the exterior and externalize the
internal struggles to a realm where progress or whatever you'd call
cyclical efficiency would be.
Here. Now. With vodka engulfed watermelon and friends that have a
yearly ritual of water bathing

Mountain fire
Conventional
Purple tea leaves
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

William faulkner

2008-08-27T18:16:00.001-07:00

The white simplicity of (the house) dreamed unbroken among ancient
sunshot trees

Sartoris pg 23
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Sunflower ceiling gestures

2008-08-23T22:04:00.000-07:00

I was standing there holding 3 sunflower seeds in my hand like it's the
beginning of an epic adventure

We exchanged helium because we had grown tired of ceilings

I write how it looked like, the words the styles, the looks and
gestures
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Ethan Hein check this guys online presence out

2008-08-11T09:31:00.001-07:00

http://www.ethanhein.com/
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

yonkers riverfest 2007

2008-07-28T07:15:00.001-07:00

Yonkers Riverfest Calls All Crowds.

For the past few years Yonkers mayor Phil Amicone has allocated more and more funds to the city's annual Riverfest. Coming from the north of Larkin Plaza the first sight one sees is the Philipse' Manor and with a squint one discerns that the people milling about the front yard are dressed in colonial period clothes. An entire family sits around a suspended pot in rocking chairs cooling filled soupspoons with a whistle. A blacksmith reddened and sooted sweats and sighs into his work.

"BaBOOOOM" A cannon resonates a stomach jabbing tone that techno DJ's would go mad to be able to replicate. On the softer side of the building, women with apple-butter smiles spin wool using comfortably contorted fingers.

Down the Hill a local dance studio displays sultry graduates of their "striptease" program. Immediately following is the junior hip-hop routine. A U2 cover band howls at the crowd "Sunday bloody sundaaaaay!" Sweet smells of ethnic culture waft in the air. Jamaicans speaking patua with big teeth grins and hearty chuckles cook up a fusion of soul food and carribean flavors. A Mexican family is focused on quickly wrapping burritos for the long line of customers. An Indian stand sells all sorts of curried dishes.

--
<^> matt cleary
914.316.4708
AIM: howufeelaboutpie
http://people.tribe.net/veilofavoca

demerge

2008-04-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

have we, who wished never to have emerged here, seen the truth?

2008-01-23T15:42:00.000-08:00

oh boy you know when you start dreaming and you say , fat tuesday! ive got to write this down! and then as you start to jot the thoughts you fiddle around and change the layout of your blog which your still not satisfied with just to remember that you've forgotten what it is that you want to write. but then as you write this you remember that it had something to do with being dissatisfied with technological cumber. and so you are stuck in this world where plastic breaks and new parts costs hundreds of dollars and no one knows how to make a good machine and you sure as hell dont want to spend hours on a computer writing a 1mb text document that merely describes how to open the file. i beg of you programmers, let the computer and the user have a conversation and not a call and response.

perhaps we could find a way to change the frequencies of different cordless phones so that they can all work on the same system.

dreams4life

2007-12-29T16:41:00.000-08:00

so we are here in this new day and there are so many things to do that one does not want to do much of anything but rub the eyes and look bewildered at all the beauty caused by all the ugliness

i want to create a veggie oil bus that has 6 networked computers using a satellite communications network. the bus sells homemade pottery and jewelry and cooks vegan delicious healthy bakery things with walnuts and flaxmeal and maple syrup for cheap. the bus stores the ingredients under itself. we help be to be a shuttle/mobile party in the suburbs we pick up abandoned clothes and materials and doctor them up to look nice and fit tight for anyone that wants to adopt em. we are the clean up crew that comes by to everyones house and reorganizes even your dirty underwear (we dont care so neither should you) we laugh and share everything and build fires on the regular know how to hack computers and machines dumpster dive squat work full time jobs, put on a suit and tie, help old ladies, have loud, sex filled parties, celebrate history of the natives of the US and of ireland and of other brothers and sisters from one side of the marble to the other. we are conscious of our walk, of our talk of how we stand and look into a persons eyes. we are aware that we are nothing but the humble nights of the round table, not seated but kneeling in the childs pose on the ground to the circular alter that proclaims no one entity greater than the other- all sides equal and transitioning to the next, lines blurred.

depression elation and dreams

2007-10-27T00:35:00.000-07:00

a dream i had once of Lockwood Avenue. It was like a place with familiar gangsters, little old men of unkown origin and then I remember a man across the street from La Esquina he had a cart and hummed a song much like i thought the whimsical folk might hum

met bob again on yonkers avenue. he rides a tricycle bike and recycled a familiar electrical contractor's hard hat into a bike helmet. he was organizing his found cans when i approached him to request a picture. he said to me quite strangely as he had similarly before "my name's bob i'm married to a beautiful irish girl. but she wont give me nuthin. shes just in it for my money. wanna buy a carton of eggs for $1?" I glanced down. they were still good for a month. "no, thanks though. I'm trying not to eat eggs for a while."

nah man i write poems replace tires for old ladies and most importantly sell green living so i can make money and impress potential shaggs just like everybody else. Hey joe dont think a bad guy of me eh? we are who we decide to be, eh? just so happens who i was given to be aint so grand- but dont hold me by that- it was someone elses blunder- in your eyes.

work on your life
focus on your days
dont run from anything
push yourself
or life will push upon you

one may say that nothing has been left to the imagination. or maybe its all in the imagination from the start. look up and feel the rush as i sync my current astrological positioning to Whenever the Real Time Exists.

Im gonna burst these pipes and let rivers flow wild again in drop ceilings. metal smith smug in dungeons. some sort of god lurks round the corner next to the dedicated om of transformers and the alchemical fire dosages of warm furnace pipes and the faint breeze of the air shafts here rustles through sheet metal leaves

once there was a time when good people were unorganized and productive. now theres coalitions and non profits and foundations spelling their names in acronyms like their own tombstones. boards of trustees and administrative boards hold talk for years. The quakers had it right we all got it wrong. its not about yabbering until someone climbs to top. shutup. sit. do it. and rest.

my car keeps puddles of water in her back seat and i tell you i understand why she keeps it around when i hear that trickling as i start the slow acceleration. when i see that undertoe i just pray her electrical veins arent itchin so bad to take their clothes off and go for a dip.

Last night i prayed
waitin
wating for some bright idea
the way it feels in my blood when i think of far off places
cozy homes of long lost friends just remembered
other times certain circumstances
but the taste and state is still the same
some people have visions of the future
others have blazing present moments
i totter between memories of the long past and a dream world i dont understand
its the smell of the trees
the way the whole house looks green when you come in after a sunny day
taking shots of espresso at work to pep you up
taking shots of vodka at work to chill you out
riding bmx bikes and laughing at the edge of the River with orange bandanas fresh mangoes and black bikes

how can it be
the fern is so young in August
and I,
old before my years?

all the stars rise and fall like the crunch of god's pretzels

let things conceived come true
let them all believe
let them laugh at their passions
because what they call passion
is not some spiritual energy
but just a friction between the soul
and the outer world
and firstly let them believe in themselves
-Andrei Tarkovsky

when a situation like this arises and you find you cant pretend
its going to be alright.
it unsettles the mouse behaviour and you're forced to look at your situation.
it starts with how you feel when the alarm clock goes off

i just want to sleep
sleep it off
sleep into it
sleep away from it all
sleep like there isn't awake.
but lest we forget our moments
when we are inspired
they may be delusion-stringed carrots
or the parting of clouds

one must be reminded of the chemistry
that endorphins make us happy
and we live our lives by their careful attention
to our actions
so when we are happy
take a look at what's at hand
and remember that all the straight-edge people
just have "better living through chemistry"

it might not be about what makes you happy
it may be about what matters
even if there is no passion or interest behind it.
but each of us have a "preference of importance'
and that, at it's base, is what you like.
Do What You Like
and not
what makes you happy.

wish to be witty

2007-03-13T23:23:00.000-07:00

Funny how you can write and write and come up with whitty little sayings but then when it comes to sharing something, you think "well i dont really have anything for anyone to LOOK at". a moment i experienced today was at 5:00 as i was walking around white plains, just outside the downtown section. i looked through the space between two housed up at the sky and a tree was framed on a blue-white scale with a pink puffin osmosing to the left peripheral.

"wa- haa!" i said at the time.

train hoppin hobos

2007-03-13T23:22:00.000-07:00

-during the great depresssion, more than 250,00 young people left home and snuck abouard trians to search for work, adventure or simply for food. Many of these were children as young as thirteen.
-{{RIDING THE RAILS Errol Lincoln Uys}}--
-narrators tell how to negotioate the trains and train yards, and how to deal with fellow riders and the often violent railroad security guards called bulls. In 1932 the Interstate Commerce Commission recorded 5,692 trespassers killed and injured in the first ten months of the year, 1,508 of them under 21.

Sleeping in Hobo Jungles...

Red Wine protects your ears

2007-03-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

One glass of red wine may not get you drunk, but it does go to your head. Or, more specifically, to your ears. Researchers with the Henry Ford Health System found that when rats were given resveratrol, the wonder chemical in red wine, they had a 50 percent reduction in noise-induced hearing damage. "We're confident this is just as effective in humans," says Michael Seidman, M.D., the lead author.

delaware

2007-02-02T07:23:00.000-08:00

I am
at this particular moment filtering a glass of water that will hold my intention for a good afternoon and evening at the place where i concluded my college education without perscribed accolades.

I hope to see old faces, to meet new ones. To find that taste of what inspired me to leave, if it is still hanging in the air.

i will be riding with my friend who's name as yet be ascertained but goes by the description of 1985Mercedes300Diesel we are in collaborations about switching his food over to biodiesel.

fare this well.